Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dear Host:

I have read your letter. Dear Fat Cells and I can't help but laugh at you. If you think I am leaving just like that you have another thing coming. I know you and have been with you all of these years. I have stuck by you through thick and thin (okay wrong choice of word there). But it has been me that has been here for you when everyone and everything in your life was not.

My friends and I have taken great pleasure in growing our neighborhood. We have too much time invested in you to just leave because you want us to. Let me tell you something Missy, you are very comfortable and cushiony. We are like the bloods and crypts having our gang wars fighting over territory. We have employed little men to build landscape for us to play. Those folds in your back is our water ride like at the amusement park. We take great pleasure in making your  thighs squish when you walk. So tell me what should I do with my seniors that has taken up housing in your protruding belly? We love it when people are trying to guess if you are preggers. ha ha ha...I'm cracking up just thinking about it.

As for the high blood pressure, edema, and sleep apnea, that's really not such a big deal to us. You see we have done far worse to some of our other hosts. However; we have agreed to only flare up every now and then instead of every day. You can still wear your hideous mask, take meds, and whatever you want to do. It really does help us to build resistance. So go ahead. Well as for your aches and pains- nothing we can do about that. That is the most fun about being a fat cell. Playing in the cracks and crevices you call joints is what we do. How about those times we made you out of breath just walking,,,that's a crack up right there.

Yep you and that zumba and step class and all of that jumping up and down makes us a little uncomfortable but its not going to make us leave. Remeber Jennifer- Hudson or Holiday- singing....and I am telling you, I'm not going,,, and you and you and you Your gonna love me- We that's our theme song. You need to stop acting like you don't want us here. All we have to do is get inside your head and make you eat and drink yourself fat again. Honey those 75lbs you think are lost are still here, shrunken and hidden, waiting for you to mess up. Why do you think you have all of that extra skin? Its just hanging out until you need it again.

I've enjoyed my chat with you but I have to go now, there are some cookies I want you to eat so I need to direct your attention elsewhere. But don't worry, we will be chit chatting again soon. Like I said, I ain't going...

Smooches Darling,

Your welcomed guest,
The Mayor of Fat Cells.

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