Friday, June 3, 2011

something for the big girls

OK big girls y'all can be mad at me all you want but tsk tsk on you. I'm sorry if you don't have real friends to tell you the real truth.  The truth is IF YOU WANT TO DRESS LIKE THE SKINNY GIRLS YOU NEED TO EAT LIKE THEM. You can not eat like the fat girls and then try to dress like the skinny girls. It just doesn't work.

I'm not saying you can't be fashionable and have an up to date wardrobe. I'm talking about the buying your size. If you are a size 16, buy a size 16. Speaking for we the people, I don't want to see your flesh hanging over your shirt and out of your pants. It looks like soda when you shake it up and pour it in a cup, bubbling all over the place. EEWWWW that is not cute. AND guess what? It makes you look fatter.

I'm saying these things now while I am still hefty because once I'm at my goal it will seem like I am a mean girl picking on the overweight. I'm kinda getting this out of my system.

Things I hate to see on big girls. SPANDEX pants or shorts with midriffs. Especially when you got jelly rolls, tires, blubber. etc. When your gut to bust ratio is out of proportion, knock it off. Cover that crap up. Muffin tops jiggling over your jeans, not cute. When your butt cheeks are hanging out the back of your booty shorts and you are as wide as a Pilot- Honda Pilot that is... I just envision the mold, mildew and fungus growing in the cracks and crevices of the skin. For your sake and the sake of the general public, dress for your size.
This includes your shoes too. Nothing worse than seeing a shoes that look as if they are begging for mercy. When your feet is hanging over your shoes and you look like Fat Albert on a tricycle, then you are not wearing your size. BTW- Too much animal prints will make you look like the animal itself. Zebra will make you look like a zebra.

I say this in the most loving and sweet voice I can muster. My gaze is soft as I touch you tenderly. I am saving you from yourself. Look, just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should buy it.

So if you wearing a size 6, just make sure you are ....a size 6.

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