Monday, May 23, 2011

work in progress 1

Life for me in't been no crystal stair.....Langston Hughes said it best. I've been through a lot of ups and downs in my life. Each trial and tribulation, I pray will be the last. I keep thinking that GOD has a lot of folks so he'll get tired of me and on to the next one. OK I don't really mean that.

I call myself a work in progress because I'm not done yet. GOD is not done with me yet. When I die, my headstone will say "now she's done"... until then I continue to be a work in progress.

For me, this journey has been as much mental as it is physical. Actually the physical is easier to deal with.
Running a mile is running a mile. Lifting weights and finishing a class is a walk in the park compared to the mental aspect of change and getting to the bottom of how things got so out of control in the first place.  There a many ways and reasons we eat, over eat, eat the wrong things. The key to conquering this demon is to recognize the lure. I had to start two journals. One kept a record of every morsel of food I ate and why I ate it. What I was feeling before I ate it and how I felt after. OH Boy! that was the kick in the butt I needed because there it was, right in my own hand writing, what I was eating. The other was my day to day activities. Guess what? soon the two journals were cross referencing each other and a bunch of truths were revealed. Who needs a swift kick in the butt when they can have a journal...

My vow to change came when I went to buy a suit for work and had to buy a size.........22. WTF. I stood in the dressing room of MACY'S 34th Street and almost cried. Yeah I said almost. But I told myself that would be the last size 22 I would ever buy. So far, I've kept that promise to myself. I'm down to a size 14 so again I say work in progress.

The hardest part was going out with my friends and when friends and family came up to visit. Eating out with friends and explaining my mission was a little bit uncomfortable at first. My really good friends understood and would eat what I ate. They'd bypass the appetizers and agree when I asked the waiter/waitress to hold the bread. BUT...I had some friends that would say "I'm not on a diet, you are" or "I'm not depriving myself of anything". Well needless to say, I broke bread with them less and less. My family is another story. I live 65 miles from my sister and she  said she was not coming to my house to eat rabbit food. I explained that I wasn't eating rabbit food either, I just was NOT frying chicken...well after a couple of times of her eating like me, she stopped her yapping about it. It took a year but she has since started her own journey to a healthier lifestyle. (I'm proud of her)

You may have to distance yourself from some folks for a while. SUPPORT is really important. It's like alcoholics should not hang around the same crew they used to get drunk with. Drug addicts shouldn't hang with the ones they got high with. It is hard to separate yourself to elevate yourself.

Good night...tomorrow is a good day to get started.

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