be selfish

I am going to hit some nerves here but....LEARN TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST. OK, so those close to me know that this is a hypocritical statement if ever there was one. I have ALWAYS put others needs before my own. I look back and clearly there were some true emergencies where all of my needs had to go on the back burner. However; clearly there were times when that perceived emergency could have waited until after the gym, the jog, the workout, or whatever.

Not so long ago I couldn't walk the mall without stopping to rest a bit. When taking my girls shopping, they would go to all of the stores, pick out their stuff and call me when they were on line.Then I'd join them to pay for the goods and make sure they were mommy approved. I remember walking NYC streets and an old lady asked me to "speed it up, or get out of the way". I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth at her. How dare she want to get to her destination in a timely manner and large marge was blocking her...

I have many of those stories...anyway as my health was deteriorating I started to feel guilty that I couldn't do the things that gave me the most pleasure which is taking care of my family. Nurturing the young kids, sightseeing like a tourist, getting with nature to take advantage of GOD's creations. Struggling to breathe to walk up steps or down the block is not my idea of a good time. The aches and pains and swelling of my joints caused my quality of life to suffer rendering me pretty much useless to the family I loved. In fact the opposite was happening. They had to spend an incredible amount of time taking care of me. Waiting for me to catch up when we walked somewhere. Looking for me in a crowded space to make sure I was OK. Taking turns to check on me at amusement parks because I was officially the bag, and baby watcher.

So when my journey began I sat my family down and explained to them the changes that were about to take place. I was no longer going to cook dinner during the week. Since I was having a salad or protein shake they had to fend for themselves. Prior to that, I cooked 2 meals. I was going to start some kind of exercise regimen and they needed to give me their schedules in advanced so that I could coordinate accordingly. I was not to be disturbed during my "time". Sunday was the only day the were guaranteed a meal cooked by me. .. a series of other stuff was about to change. Well needless to say they balked and were very unhappy. They didn't take it seriously at first. I had to show them better than I could tell them. So when I got the calls asking whats for dinner, I said you tell me. They were not amused. I told them to take turns cooking dinner and I would buy the ingredients on Sundays and they would cook all week. When dinner was my husbands turn, he ordered out. That was a good move..lol Over time the calls stopped and the routine became...routine.

Soooo, I had to become SELFISH in order to become useful again. Getting healthy is really one of the most unselfish things I have done in this process. I used to say that they didn't have a weight problem but clearly they did....ME
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